For us pogues and fobbits, midnight pee relief is only a bottle away. Most soldiers are a distance from the nearest Port-a-John and peeing in a container works. The only rule - pour the pee, then basket the bottle. Easy enough!
Here's one that got away by some forgetful soul outside our dental clinic. Hmmm... is that pee or tea? (A: It was warm... )
Other times, folks on convoy or escort duty need to pee-on-the-go... truthfully. US military humvees wait for no man, or woman. For a lot of folks, a knack for aim and calm nerves while maneuvering is a vital skill.
"Peeing in Gatorade Bottles"
A soldier's vignette about life in Iraq
I am one of very few people who can say that, for one whole year, I peed in Gatorade bottles more times than I peed in the toilet. It may sound uncivilized, unclean, and just plain disgusting, but I am very proud to be able to say this. It is not just because of how much talent it takes for one to pee in a Gatorade bottle that I am so proud (but that is definitely something to take pride in). I take pride in the reason I had to pee in so many Gatorade bottles over the course of a year.
From the summer of 2006 until the summer of 2007, I was a gunner in a Humvee, and escorted convoys over 40,000 miles throughout Iraq. It was on one of these convoys that I peed in a Gatorade bottle for the first time. Actually, it was on the first one I ever went on, and after that I peed in a Gatorade bottle every time I was on the road.
I had heard before I went to Iraq that thirty truck convoys don’t stop just because somebody feels the call of nature. Others who had done the same mission before me told me I would have to learn to pee in Gatorade bottles. I never thought that I would actually be able to pee in a Gatorade bottle, and I was sure I would be able to hold it until I actually got a chance to find a port-a-john. I was wrong though, and it only took one mission for me to understand that peeing in Gatorade bottles would become a way of life for me.
Inside the truck was not the only place I found peeing in Gatorade bottles to be useful. I did most of my missions at night, so I had to do my sleeping during the day. The tents we slept in were air conditioned, so they were comfortable most of the time. The port-a-johns, though, were about 100 yards away. There were many times when I woke up in the middle of the day, and it was at least 120 degrees outside, and of course I would have to pee. Rather than go outside into the oven, I would just pick up one of the empty Gatorade bottles that I left beside my bed for this purpose. I was definitely not the only one who did this, because many times I woke up in the middle of the day to the sound of liquid hitting plastic.
I have not peed in a Gatorade bottle since that time in Iraq. Sometimes I wonder if I ever will again. Maybe I will. Maybe I won’t. I do know one thing though. I keep plenty of empty Gatorade bottles next to my bed, and if the situation ever arises where I do need to pee in a Gatorade bottle, I will have no trouble “letting it flow”.
Strong Language Warning - US Fighting Soldiers on video...
"Pee & Toss" in the Evergreen State - it'll cost ya!
